Here We Go… AGAIN

I have neglected this blog for so long, but the first of 2014 has brought me to my knees. I am almost 29. The year of age that most women still consider themselves 20 years later, and the future looks a little bleak. I haven’t accomplished any of my goals. I am super glad to be walking around and my leg has gotten ALOT better, but I have gotten down to 202, gave up and gained all of it back. I have to weigh in tomorrow, (I don’t plan on doing this alot because the scale makes me sad no matter what I weigh), but I have a long way to go until I turn 30 next year. I am capable of this. I know I am. I just have to figure out what to do when i get bored or tired and stick with it. No one wors harder than I do when i set my mind to something. 2014, you are mine for the taking.

Here is my list for 2014:

1.) Get down to 150 or size 8

2.) Pay off at least $6000 in credit card debt

3.) Relaunch my craft business and make it successful

4.) Read 28 more books

5.) Participate in an online bookclub

6.) Find an exercise activity I LOVE and can commit to

7.) Workout at least 5 days a week

8.) Finish Jean Quilt

9.) Wake up at 5 am EVERYDAY (no more NIGHT OWLING it)

Seems pretty reasonable from my current seat on the couch. I will be checking back in alot more often now that I have this written down

I’ve Been Officially Called The F word

F-A-T. That’s right. It has been so obvious to me that I am currently fat, but yesterday I got to hear someone say it. It is so weird how when you say it to yourself, you hate it but you accept it. But when someone else has been talking about you and says it, it is SO HURTFUL. I was surprised how much it affected me. I have been thin 23 of my 28 years, and while I do have a few legit reasons, it hurt so deeply to hear that other people think I am fat. Probably obese if I get right down to it. I know this is not a forever conviction for me. I know myself well enough to know that I will overcome this (and am currently working really hard to do so), but last night I was really bummed out. I guess I like to think I am lovelier than I am. Prettier. Smarter. So to hear that people think of me as FAT was a low moment.

I haven’t ever been the type of girl to call others mean names, but it has really been so eye opening to realize how the words we call others truly hurt.

I have been really working on eating less and better food, and working out. I haven’t been weighing myself, but I have been measuring. I feel so much more motivated without the old scale. No magic number to achieve, just pants I want to wear. Wish me luck!

Financial Peace University Giveaway…

So in an effort to get myself more together these last few months (while I finish healing), I have been couponing and researching financial stability LIKE CRAZY! I have been listening to Dave Ramsey online, I started a weekly couponing meeting in my hometown, and have been reading Ruth at LivingWellSpendingLess.com ‘s posts on ideas for frugality. She has a giveaway on her site for a FREE Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University starter system and I really hope I win. I could use all the help I can get! If you would like to enter head on over to her site and register to WIN! It is so easy! Thans Again for hosting this Ruth!

http://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2012/09/28/in-search-of-financial-peace/

May 12th, the major buzz kill…

So. May 12th. A day that will go down in history as one of my worst. I don’t think it could have been worse or come at a worse time.

I took the kids to a birthday party at the skating rink and ended up breaking my ankle (into tiny little pieces), 2 legs bones and fracturing my elbow. 6 weeks later, alot of drugs, pain and boredom and I am just now able to put weight on it. Needless to say Taebo has been totally out. Actually, any kind of exercise at all has been out. My right side of my body is USELESS. It has been really depressing. I have really been thru the ringer emotionally.

I lost 8 pounds up front (probably because I was barely eating). But now I am back to 210 (which was the weight I was at injury). So all in all not terrible. My eating habits, though, have gone to crap.

Time for a recommit. Not to mention, I just feel less energetic and my inside feel lackluster. Can’t wait to be running, swimming and kicking butt again:) This too shall pass…

Boys Trip And Falling Off The Wagon

The boys were on their trip to Nevada this weekend and I fell off the wagon head first. It has been a crazy couple of weeks. I really feel like I have been sabotaging myself and I have to get my emotions under control. There has been so much change in my life recently that I have just been all over the place. I am really struggling with the idea of my kids growing up so fast and all the family drama that has happened so far this year. I know this is what I need to do for myself, my family and it is also what Nana really wanted me to do, but I have so much fear. I just know I can’t afford to fear right now. So tomorrow I am going to recharge my batteries and head for my first goal of 196 (to be out of the 200’s and out of the obese range).

I bought some new shorts for summer , and even though they were the biggest size in the Juniors section (17) I am FINALLY back in Juniors!! OH HAPPY DAY:) !! I have put back on 5 pounds or so but I signed up to take a Crossfit with my sister-in-law and am going to start Bodyrock.tv at least 4 days a week (plus whatever cardio I can squeeze in).

Something really changed my self-destructive behavior and made me want to jump back on the wagon. My Bestie, A, said, “You can’t quit. There are too many people counting on you and inspired by you to quit now!” Thanks A!

Love,

Me

207.5 HERE I COME!!!

I am so close to the next goal (and giftcard): 207.5 . 205 will be next.:)

I am really proud of the worout I put in tonight and the pretty good eating I did today. I have had a pinched nerve in my lower back for the last 2 days and yesterday I was only able to get my shopping done and a 20 minute yoga video (which was a nice stretch btw). But today I was able to do my This Is Taebo DVD and 100 weighted curls, and 100 booty lifts for lower abs. It was really hard, but I am so proud of my body and performance today. I have been really grateful for my body lately and all of the wonderful things it can do. Thank God:)

Love,

Me

Whew. Taebo: Check! Sweaty Mess: Check!

Finally had the equilibrium to workout and I am so GLAD. Weird how it really becomes part of you and you miss exercise when you can’t. I guess it’s like anything else. Tell me I can’t and I WANT IT! Anyway, now I am a sweaty mess, and so excited for a shower. Hoping to start Body Rock either today or tomorrow and see where that gets me:)

Love,

Me

 

Still Sick And Dizzy

                                                                                                                          209 Pounds This Morning

I was so hoping for a good workout day today, but instead I woke up just as dizzy and discombobulated as I was last night. Head colds are the worst. I almost think being head sick is the absolute worst kind. Even with a stomach ache I can manage to get my house cleaned up and dinner made (not very fun, but it can be done). As a mom I have always prided myself on my ability to suck it up and get things done when I know I shouldn’t be able to, but with a head cold FORGET IT. I am the BIGGEST BABY. I wish for my Mommy and a hot bath, and meals made for me and to be pampered and taken care of.

On the bright side, I am still losing weight and I ate pretty well yesterday and was 209 this morning. I CAN’T WAIT to be out of the 200’s (and the obesity range). I am so excited! Once I am I’m going to treat myself to a new outfit and drag all of my girlfriends out Salsa dancing.:)

Until then, lots of green tea and TV. Boo…

Ughhh….

I went to bed last night with a sore throat and woke up at 4 am with a full blown cold. I was hoping it was just allergies, but I guess that’s out now. What do I do? Should I work out anyway and just push myself, or should I take it easy? I really want to get rid of 13 more pounds a.s.a.p. (Then I will FINALLY be out of the 200’s AND out of the obesity range for my height! YAY!). Also, pants/shorts shopping is in my immediate future since I can’t walk 10 steps without tugging at my pants (oh and did I mention I only actually OWN one pair of pants? Now you now how much I hate shopping for this weird body shape). I am carrying all of my weight up top so my pants/shorts just slide off. Kinda funny, but mostly frustrating.

AHHHH!!!

My towels fits all the way around me!!! Before it was about 10 inches open at the bottom and now it hangs straight! And it stays on! Oh happy day!