F-A-T. That’s right. It has been so obvious to me that I am currently fat, but yesterday I got to hear someone say it. It is so weird how when you say it to yourself, you hate it but you accept it. But when someone else has been talking about you and says it, it is SO HURTFUL. I was surprised how much it affected me. I have been thin 23 of my 28 years, and while I do have a few legit reasons, it hurt so deeply to hear that other people think I am fat. Probably obese if I get right down to it. I know this is not a forever conviction for me. I know myself well enough to know that I will overcome this (and am currently working really hard to do so), but last night I was really bummed out. I guess I like to think I am lovelier than I am. Prettier. Smarter. So to hear that people think of me as FAT was a low moment.
I haven’t ever been the type of girl to call others mean names, but it has really been so eye opening to realize how the words we call others truly hurt.
I have been really working on eating less and better food, and working out. I haven’t been weighing myself, but I have been measuring. I feel so much more motivated without the old scale. No magic number to achieve, just pants I want to wear. Wish me luck!